I'll be the first to admit that I am not a big fan of writing and sharing news of what I'm up to. Why? It's hard and it's scary to share personal experiences, thoughts and ideas. Sometimes it's because I've left it too long and it has become old news. Sometimes it's because I don't have good news. More often than not it is because of my (what can be crippling) anxiety that I do not share. I feel like what I have to say is irrelevant, or that no one could possibly care what I am up to and excited about, or I worry that my grammar will be bad, and I use too many run-on sentences because I write like I am talking and have ADHD...oh wait, I do! AHH. I live, quite often, in a state of overwhelm. One of my major struggles, is with my voice. It's probably why I prefer to work with my hands and make things.
When I do share, it's usually on Instagram and more often than not, I start sharing progress on a project, get overwhelmed, and stop sharing my progress. Then I feel like I'm failing, not just on social media but at life. I fall off the social media sharing wagon and roll into the ditch of despair. Lately I've been reticent to share anything anywhere because of what is happening all over the world. The insane politics in the US, the wars with Ukraine and Russia, and Palestine and Israel. The rising costs of food. How my Instagram feed is full of conspiracy theories about lizard people and a "new world order". Oh sweet can of creamed corn, things are so overwhelming right now.
So I find myself here, focusing on what is in my control - Rebuilding my website and reflecting on where I am, what I'm doing and how I want to do it. I am shaking off the fear, the self-doubt and proving to myself that I CAN. I can share my thoughts here. On this little corner of the world, in my home on my computer. I can write on my website freely. I can share, so that if there is even one person who feels as scared, nervous, overwhelmed and fatigued as I am, they can know that they are not alone in this world. They too, can SHOUT there words into space directed at no one, and everyone.
Here, today, I am going to promise to myself that I will write on this blog more regularly, even if I am the only one to read it. It is after all, my website. There is no use of AI on this website. I have written every word. It will be flawed, imperfect, and sometimes irrational, but it is mine. I will work hard to overcome my fears, improve myself, and share both, with whomever wishes to read it.
AND I promise to send out a quarterly email newsletter. Ok, maybe bi-yearly to start.
Kommentare